Dear Pilgrim,
Isn’t this another beautiful day – a day that the Lord has made. Rather than sit here and allow my beautiful brain to be consumed by problems, I am endeavoring to rejoice and be glad today.
Pilgrim, I wish I had started my day with this idea- imagine how my morning would have started. You are aware that it is important to start your day with God, and recognize that our steps are ordered by God. When we start our day with God, we don’t get side tracked if things do not go the way we expect them to happen. Secondly, if we start our day with God, we begin the day by standing on the principles and promises of God. Additionally, when we start our day with God, He will cover us and give us grace to survive the storms of life. Don’t we want that ticket to live well and follow the plans that are laid out before us by God?
Pilgrim let us look at some verses that may help us understand the power of God in our lives. Proverbs 16:9 states, “A man’s mind plans his ways, but the Lord directs his steps and makes them sure.” Then Proverbs 20:24, “Man’s steps are ordered by the Lord. How then can a man understand his way?” Isn’t it wonderful to be encouraged every morning and step with the knowledge that God is guiding our every move?
Pilgrim, I think I need to pray for the strength and determination to begin my day with God. Perhaps, that way, the ridiculous things that occupy my mind and heart will just be thrown along the way side. I will then muster the courage to avoid such distractions, and move on the path to fulfilling my God given destiny.
I want my steps to be ordered by the Lord, rather than spend my time delving into the unnecessary problems, and challenges we face.
In all of these, I keep reflecting on the numerous problems couples face- the lil ones revealed during Marriage Counseling. It is truly disheartening to see how one person can eat at the joy and peace of another person. In my view, no man or woman should have the power to steal the happiness of another person, especially when it comes to relationships. When I observe Marriage Counseling sessions, or sit in on one; I see and hear pain; I see and hear control; I see and hear pleads; then there is emotional abuse, among other issues that leave one or both persons unloved, unwanted, unappreciated and sad.
Let look at excerpts of comments of some of the problems some couples face in their marriage. As you read through them, remember that these are true life stories, and the identities are what were provided by the individuals:
Cherry: His body language or lack of saying anything tells me over and over I’m no longer important to him. I told him I feel like he’s sick of me, and that he no longer is interested ……to which he says otherwise.
Mr. Falcon: I live in a marriage that’s without intimacy. I had so many denials from my wife, which made me feel like a dog lying at her feet to be thrown a bone once in a while. If I were lucky to have an intimacy, it was more as a favor than a passionate act of love, which made me, feel like a dog. I no longer feel any physical attraction to her. With the physical attraction gone, the emotional attraction followed.
Amy: I'm guessing that he is a man of haunting secrets - not sure what, though. In the end, we all have our own threshold in terms of when "enough's enough." It's a painful journey and some people never give up and some do. I just didn't want to look back upon my life with deep regret.
Now, my mind keeps going back to the previous session I watched in which the wife was unaware that her husband's punishment was because of his wife's unacceptance of her husband's 22 year old son's behavior, and the wife's reluctance to invest in the husband family's property. The question then becomes, why punish someone for such things? Truly, is the husband's lukewarm attitude to the wife because of her reluctance to invest in the husband family's property, rather than they acquiring their own property? Could the husband actually be using his wife's reluctance to invest in his family's property as an excuse for his scorn and lack of affection towards his wife? In the same vein, could he also be showing his actual indifferent feelings towards his wife, but using his wife's reluctance towards his adult son's behavior to conceal his actual lack of affection for his wife? Is is also possible that the husband is no longer interested in his wife and just finding an excuse to justify his lack of interest?
Listening to each of the persons above, and the questions that some of the situations raises tell us that many families are living in tears and fears, rather than harmony, if not happiness.
Now, what does the bible tell us about love and partnership? Proverbs 18:22 is a very significant verse with regard to spousal appreciation. Now, this has to do with the wife--but it also could have to do with the husband. Proverb: 18:22 says, "He who finds a wife (husband) finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord" (NKJV). The Bible teaches that the institution of family is of divine origin and purpose, and not a place where one person punishes, or renders judgment on another person or persons.
God’s desire for two can be seen in the Bible. Let’s look at Genesis 2. In Genesis 2, God created Adam. And He looked at Adam and He said, "Oh, Adam, you just don't have anybody like you. God created people so as to need and find fulfillment in human companionship. Genesis 2:18: "The Lord God said, ‘It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him’”
Let's look keenly at Proverbs 18:22. It teaches us two concepts. The first is that when you find a spouse, you find someone agreeable to you. And the second is that you find favor with God in the process of doing that. So, whoever finds a wife, for husbands, finds what God has made agreeable or pleasant. That means, God believes in family, and in his eyes, the Family is divine in purpose, and not a place for despising, and scorning what God has created in his own image.
The bible, and all religious practices tell us that God’s purposes for marriage and family life give us the best opportunities for family fulfillment. The family fulfillment includes companionship, procreation, and nurture, among other.
Companionship is a basic purpose of God for marriage and family life. Companionship is illustrated in the bible: “Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is like him’” (Genesis 2:18). “This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).
Companionship is a basic purpose of God for marriage and family life. Affection as part of companionship is therefore a God-ordained means of overcoming the essential loneliness of human existence.
Nurture is another fundamental purpose of God for families. “Now if anyone does not provide for his own relatives, and especially for his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” (1 Timothy 5:8).
Now for some who treat their partners with indifference, such attitudes don’t demonstrate that your spouse is a gift from God. When we treat our partners with indifference, and or scorn, those attitudes is an indication that you see your spouse as a gift to yo; a gift from the world to you that you can bolt, jerk and do whatever with as you pleases. And we're aware that in relationship based on God's purposes, we are not talking about a controlling interest here; we're talking about a partnership between two people in which God is the Senior Partner.
Pilgrim, we know that in relationship; just any relationship, the reality is when you have one person who appreciates the other but it's not reciprocal, you tend to grow apart. Isn't that true? But when you have a husband who thinks his wife is the best thing, and a wife who thinks her husband is the best thing, when you think that your spouse is God's gift to you; and you accept him or her as the very best God has for you; and you see it as the best possible gift that God could ever have [for you], then you grow together, there is harmony and God smiles.
Well, well. It’s time to leave you again Pilgrim. I hope and pray that all is well with you and your family. Start your day with God by living the dreams that come from God.
Always,
musue
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